Rosesxpuck

I have only one motive in blogging today.

I want to let people, if not, the whole world to know i have one of the worst father.
I am no kidding.


"You're living in my house, using my electricity, eating my food.
If you've got the guts, get out of this house and be 'independent'."
(I hope you know what he meant by being 'independent' outside)


"Don't ever come back home .."

"If you're like this now, what will happen to me if you go out to work next time."
(I seriously didn't do anything, except ignoring him because he did that to me 1st!)


I tell you what will happen to you.
First thing first, i will definitely NOT give you any money.
Hear that, NONE.

It's not exactly his house i'm living in, his electricity i'm using, his food i'm eating.
Since 3/4 of the bills are paid by my mum.
He gambles, unreasonable because he always thinks he's right,
doesn't like people to argue with him EVEN WHEN HE'S IN THE WRONG.
Put them nicely together, he suckballs.

I seriously cannot stand it when he blames it all on me.
For goodness sake he's an adult, a fucking old one that is.

So anyway i told my sis to help me takeaway dinner,
since she's going down to eat with my father. Urgh, suckballs to type my father.
Then he replied, no wait, he raised his voice and said if i didn't want to go downstairs,
i might as well don't eat, followed by saying all those stuffs i've written in the beginning.

Mum called me later, i told her what happened, she called him.
& you know what he said?!

He fucking told my mum that i didn't tell him i want him to takeaway dinner for me.
& since i didn't do so, he's not buying.
So what now? It's my fault for not telling him?!
Because in the first place, he heard me, he indirectly scolded me and woosh, nice.

& i rmb for one period of time.
Mum told me to hide the amt of money i have in my bank from him.
For fear he's gonna use to for god knows what reasons.

I don't deny he'd been good to me, many times.
He bought a phone for me, he paid HALF for my laptop,
paid HALF for my DBSK Japanese Album and definitely many more.

But then again, i will never forget what he did to me in the past.
He used to pinch until i get bruises whenever i tried to reason with him.
He used to hit me really hard when i tried to reason out with him.
(& it's all because he thinks i'm arguing when in fact i was just trying to reason it out!)
And i rmb when i was still in Primary school, i failed my Math exams.
He refused to buy me anything to eat.
Can you imagine the trauma i've been through mentally?


& i used to swear to myself that if he pinches me or hits me physically again ..
I will not hesitate to call the police. I was very serious about it.

My heart still aches everytime we quarrelled.
I should have already been used to it.
But no, my heart is still aching now, & i hate myself for that.

You will never understand, because you did not go through what i went through.
Every human being has a limit to everything.
Mine's reaching the maximum already.
I have tried putting myself in his shoes when he scolds me.
But i don't see a reason as to why he would say all those to me.


I might change my mind about him in time to come.
Not anytime soon. Only when it's over between us.
But seriously, i rather not have one when it's him.