HAIRSPRAY

Had an awesome chat with Gwen today. Thank you love, for the lunch @Ichiban Boshi, the mudpie from Island Creamery and the hairspray hehehehe. Love htht with her; told her about the boy and we just share the same worries. 

Damn annoying, can't wait for his exams' to be over so that i can clarify with him or smth it's a burden in my heart. On a lighter note, i cldn't take it and i told him that i miss him.. &that i wished his exams' cld be over asap. Glad that we're on the same page :) Okay abrupt but bai.. 

TUMBLR PIX & Y

And because i'm in a damn random (and a little emotional) mood, first thing first.. I'mma post some pix from tumblr ^^ hehe. 

 I wna be able to dress like her, and still look awesomely chic omggggg *self-conscious max

 *stabs self, why she so pretty??!?!?!?!

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You can skip the part below cause this is the only space for me to type all these..

Anyway, I've been having random small talks with Y under my block for the past few days.. Really becoming a routine alr, though deep down in my heart i know this isn't good. I shldn't be doing this every single day, but i really can't help it :( "I miss you" starts appearing in my dictionary, and it doesn't stop until i see him at night; furthermore, this has alr been going on for every single day~ I don't know if i'm being selfish and greedy at the same time, but i really really really wna be his priority. Keep having thoughts of all of these ending, i really don't wna be one of his options.. :( Although he assures me here and there, and still meeting me every night without fail (that is if he isn't out of bb with his friends alr..) I am still afraid. Ya'll know when it comes to a point where texts aren't so frequent and talks become more mundane??? I'm alr half way there, the texting part. Alr cut down by so freaking much y'all know??? Everything else has moved a step up, other than that part??? It is only through texting that I feel like he's still there with me when he's not here physically.. What am i to do when he doesn't do that as often as he did alr... Help???

TOUCH YOUR HEART

I know many of you must have had read about this story before, but omg my heart's still crying..

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The cashier said, “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. “It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.” I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.” His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.” Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me “I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.” Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. “Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?” “OK,” he said, “I hope I do have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: “Thank you God for giving me enough money!” Then he looked at me and added, “I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!” “I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” “My mommy loves white roses.” A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Took it from tumblr anyway, haha.

STUDY HARD. LOVE HARD. PLAY HARD.

Dad came home just now and decided to give me a lecture on my future, what kind of jobs i shld take, what kind of boyfriend i shld bring home and when i shld start giving them allowances.. I know it isn't right for me to think this way, but come on~ i'm only 20 this year, why are they pressurizing me to alr start thinking of the path that i wna take in th future. I'm the kind of person who'll take one step at a time, and not the kind who'll plan like 5 or 10 years ahead. I really cannot do that, it's just not who i am. But anyway, i really gotta agree on the fact that they ain't young anymore.. Perhaps all they want to see is their own daughters being successful in life, be in the right career (that earns alot of $$$) and ultimately marry the right guy. Which parents wouldn't want their own children to take this path?? But reality isn't so simple, sometimes we think we're in the right career because it's what we all wna do.. Take for eg, i'm really interested in Public Relations and Marketing. But all these doesn't guarantee me a job that earns alot of $$$ right??? I don't know.. And well, we'll meet guys whom parents' would definitely not approve of, but love comes at an unexpected time; and most definitely, you fall in love with unexpected people. I'd never expected myself to have taken a liking to Y, but y'all know such things are hard to say. The time you spent tgt with each other is crucial; whether you click with one another; whether you share the same interests etc.. You don't expect to just fall in love with maybe the CEO of your company (earns big bucks, considerate, filial etc) right? Love itself is something that nobody can really explain.. Some say it's love when there's trust, honesty, mutual love etc. But for others, love may be something else. No one can really define what love is. So yep, after typing so much, if you still do not get my drift.. What i'm trying to bring across is the fact that life is unexpected, there are so many things that are unpredictable, so hard to tell what's gna happen next.. But what we all have to do is to take one step at a time, embrace and treasure each moment and not worry about what the future holds. Can you imagine if we all worry about how the world will end in 2012?!?!? Optimistic people will make full use of their time now and enjoy, do the craziest things and not regret anything else. Pessimistic people on the other hand, will start worrying about how the world will actually end in 2012, and maybe panicking?? I don't know.. But what's the point, if the world's gna end then let it end. Study hard, love hard, play hard. At least you've alr done things that you'll not regret what, right? Alright, time for dinz with family :)

A picture to end things off :)

THOUGHTS. EMOTIONS. WHAT'S HAPPENING.

(I really hope that you guys can actually understand why I'm feeling this way. Maybe you can try putting yourself in my shoes and you might get the drift; and again, all these are really my heartfelt thoughts, not pinpointing anyone. I repeat, not gna name names, but if you think you're one of the few below, then congrats maybe?)


Anyway.. I'm feeling quite expressive and emotional now and i've so much on my mind on what to blog about so yep, here i am! :) I read a little bit of my previous blog posts, back in 2009. Haha, cause that's when i have the most blog posts in that year alone. Guess i really went through a lot that year huh ;)

And as i was saying.. I'd read through some of my blog posts and got reminded of so many stuffs. I saw my own birthday post and thought to myself: "How can 2years fly passed so quickly?!" I can really still remember the exact details of how i'd actually celebrated with the different grps of people; be it my own family members, my friends, my classmates.. Really thankful that i'd them during that period of time. But alas, as one's saying, friends come and go. They really do come and go. People change. You change. I change. Not gna say for good or for bad but still, they left my life. I was just telling to PY&Aihua ytd because they were really so damn sweet to accompany for work for 2hrs, then they went back home and came out again to meet me for supper. I mean srsly, they really super sugary sweet ^^ We weren't this close the other time, and true, they did things that upset me sometimes in the past. But as i've said, people change, for good or for bad.. They're the ones who'd changed for good. We're so much closer now :)

For those who're planning to leave my life, OR had alr left my life.. Thank god. I really don't need friends like you. I hate to put in so much effort into a particular friendship and then one day it just disappears. I hate it alot. The first and only priority I'll put in front of any one of you is, and will always be yiwen. I mean srsly, this girl and i have telepathy, for real. I hate to say this but i love her. She's always there everytime i needed someone to talk to/to rant. She's someone whom i can really count on when i need help. Not someone who just leaves, because someone else she deemed more important enters her life. I'm not gna name anyone, but you shld know who you are. If i'm not contacting you at all, you should know why.

I like to see people putting in efforts in sustaining our friendships. If i see that effort, i'll be more than willing to put in extra effort to contact you, to meet up with you, and more importantly, to keep our friendship. But if you're more of the 'I'll contact you only when i need you' kind, then fuck off. Cause i really need to empathize again, i don't need friends like you. IF you contact me again (for god knows what reason) i'll be there of course. But take note, it'll just be one of my many masks talking to you, not the real me. The real me will not contact you, AT ALL. I would rather not waste my time on such people, really.

I was wondering. in the noon, that i've been planning for so many of my different cliques' events; be it birthdays, gatherings etc. I'll always be the one planning. People always assume, 'oh i'll just need to wait for cherie to contact me' OR 'isn't cherie the one organizing?' Srsly, fuck you. I know some of you guys are really busy, but have you guys even thought of me at all? Ain't i busy too? Can't i be busy too? It makes me wonder if my birthday comes, will anyone of you even plan a birthday surprise for me? Or maybe just a simple gathering? Will your do it? Will you? :( I'm not specifically pinpointing any one of you. I'm just listing out my thoughts. I'll leave it at the top of my blog for a while, so people can actually see that i do have my own problems. Maybe you guys will help me out? I don't want to shoulder such a heavy responsibility. I can't. It's too heavy..

On the other hand, thank you to those who'd been really, sincerely helping out with the plannings; specifically people like benedict, kenho, py, hsin rui etc.. Really damn thankful for friends like them. :)



SO EMOTIONAL. :( I feel so good typing all of these out. I'm not as cheerful as i seem to be. I just don't like people to be affected by me.