STILL COPING; TUMBLR

I'm still trying to cope with the sudden lost of someone next to me. I wna text you meimei's pictures every time i see her but i realized i can't anymore. In fact, every single cute thing that pops out or whatever that happens in my life, i wna text you that. But i just can't do anymore. I can't send you pictures or tell you anything that happened in my life anymore. It sucks, because i used to do it so often and when it happens now, i really don't know who else to send them to. It doesn't hold the same meaning anymore. I still miss you very badly now. I still get the urge to wna meet you at night, to hold your hand, to hug you.. It'd only been about a week since it happened, but it felt like months to me. And the fact that i'm still coping well now is because i'm being very hopeful to your reply that you promised me next week. That's the reason why i'm still smiling now. In fact, i think i'm being too optimistic about it.. If the answer is not what i'd expected, i think i'll break down all over again. This time worse, because i know i'd tried and there's nothing i can do anymore. No more last chances for anything, no more chances for me to make up for my mistakes anymore.. Life sux, for real.