Sunday, October 14, 2012

TIPS FOR POST-BREAKUP/MOVE ON

I recently came across this link: 

It provides really great advice on how to move on after a breakup and I'm ashamed to say I think i sort of did 1 and 2.... Oops. But I'm also glad that I did 4 and 5 (which I have to thank yiwen for!). To quote some of it...

4. Delete, delete, delete. A great way to torture yourself after you’ve been dumped is to go back and reread all his old texts and emails and listen to his voicemails. Avoid this temptation by deleting them sooner rather than later. Sure, they feel like a security blanket—if you’re not dating anyone else yet, his messages remind you of a time when someone loved you. You might be afraid that if you delete them, you’ll have nothing left and will just be in this relationship-less void, thinking, What if no one ever writes me sweet, loving messages like he did again? But you still have to take a deep breath and click Delete. Rereading or listening to them could take you back to when everything was blissful between the two of you, causing you to idealize the relationship and go into fantasy and longing for him. Or it could dredge up, over and over and over again, what you’ve lost. Either way, it’s going to keep you stuck, in pain, and closed off to meeting someone new. If deleting seems impossible, ask a friend to sit with you while you do it to provide support, and reward yourself by doing something fun after the deed is done. 
5. Take some time off dating.  Being dumped, especially unexpectedly, is painful, and you can avoid feeling that pain by starting to date again right away. Lots of people say it—you can’t get over the last one until you meet the next one. But when you’re dating from this place of needing to get over someone else, there’s a desperation underneath everything you do. First of all, guys can sense this, but more importantly, it puts you at risk for being even more hurt. If you haven’t dealt with the underlying pain of your last relationship, every single slight from a new guy is going to feel disproportionately agonizing. Someone you just met online doesn’t ask you on a second date? Heartbreaking! A blind date stands you up? Devastating! Better to take some time off to nurse your wounds before heading back out there. And don’t just sit in your room with the shades drawn feeling sorry for yourself during this dating hiatus. Use it as a time to get back in touch with your life and the things you love to do. Go to concerts, enroll in a class, take up yoga, read that book you’ve been meaning to for the past year. Nurturing your relationship with yourself will build up the resilience you’ll need to dive back into the dating the pool from a place of confidence and hope instead of desperation and dread.

Yup, go click on the link if you wna know more. I personally feel that whatever the author wrote really tug at my heartstrings. Maybe because I went thru the whole brutal process of a breakup, I can totally relate to these. Go read it if you're free, and make sure you don't do what it says not to! ;) I'm really sorry if you're currently going thru a breakup right now but I can assure you that this phase will pass. I don't know how long it will take because this depends on your willpower (how much you want to get over it) as well as your surroundings! But always always remember to be around happy people and be happy cause "Being happy is the best revenge" :) Hope this helps! ^^

On a happier note, I've finally added the Instagram widget at the sidebar so be sure to follow me if you're interested! :) @Cheriexsh

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